Vader sues Rumplestillskin
by Leigh Skywalker
Summary: So Rumplestillskin thinks he is the Dark one. When the Dark Lord of the Sith hears this as with the ending of Empire Strikes Back He's not happy


Who is the Dark One

We see THe Once Upon a TIme Tv Show version of Rumplestillskin in his Pawn shop when the outside starts to go dark

Music which is the Imperial March of Star Wars is played as THe Door opens and Darth Vader enters the shop

"Mr. Gold is it in this world?" Vader asks

"Yes" answered Rumplestillskin.

"So you are the being that dares to refer to himself as _**The Dark One**_?" Vader asks.

"Yes"

"WHich is why am I here for I am suing you" Vader says.

"On what right to do say that you are suing me?" Rumplestillskin asks

"On the right that you are not as evil as you claim and that you are an embrassement to the word evil" Vader says. HE then drops the lawsuit onto Rumple's desk.

"And what did I or didn't I do" ask Rumplestillskin

Vader "You had the nerve to refer yourself as the Dark one"

"But I locked a girl in my dungun after forcing her to live up to the deal made by her father" said Rumplestillskin

"And then you began as they say in your original time courting her" Vader said

"Says the guy who ten years and a few months ended up marrying the 14 year old he meet when he was just under ten years of age.

Vader "which brings me to family you are a softy"

Rumple I've had homicidial thoughts towards my grandson

Vader "And you haven't acted upon it Which brings me to your kid. You are giving bad dads well a bad name.

Rumple "He saw that I had become a mad man who killed anyone that disagreed with me then I broke the only deal I ever had by letting go and letting him land apparently in 1904 London"

Vader " Yeah softy. I cut off my son's hand tortured my daughter after grounding her then had her watch as my associate blew up her planet. I haven't even gotten to the envy of every father of a teenage of 20 something girl yet.

Rumple "Which would be"

Vader Freezing my future son in law in carbonite while you tired to your son's Signiffigant other back together with her son's father. Then there is your choice of what you did to your wife.

Rumple She left me and the boy for an actual Pirate. As I recall your wife tried to stay with you and you choked the life out of her

Vader That's not true.

Rumple IT's not

Vader NO I only thought I choked the life out of her. It seems she died after giving birth to our Twins.

Rumple Then at least I have something on you

Vader HOw do you figure?

Rumple I torn out my wife heart right in front of her and crushed it in front of her and that Pirate she left me for. Leaving my son without a mother completely.

Vader Tell me has he forgiven you for that

Rumple I'm not sure Have your kids forgiven you.

Vader The boy yes course I had to save his life. THe girl I am not sure about. Anyway tell me something what's with making your girlfriend clothes be almost like your wives cause that is just sick.

Rumple Really after all the things you have done. I have a guy who makes me seem like a pacifist and the fact that my girlfriend and Ex wife dress simualarly is what you find disturbing.

Vader Yes and another reason you can't be called the Dark one. Cause I think you misunderstand the use of the tern Dark in this case.

Rumple Oh I understand it Ani. Besides I have more in common with your son and your mentor than I do with you

Vader How do you figure.

Rumple. THe only reason I did to my kid by letting him go is because my father did the same thing to me. ALso I told Baelfire that Peter Pan destroyed my father. NOt that in fact he was my dad.

Vader begins the Force choke on Rumplestillskin

Rumple Okay!Okay I don't call you Ani and I don't bring up Obi-wan again.

Vader Let me ask you something about your kids how messed up are they?

Rumple Why is that one of the qualifiers? Cause there I think I got you beat?

Vader Really my son on his way to avenge his father's death met a girl. Turns out the girl he was attacked to wa his twin sister and the man he thought had killed his father was his father? Now how do you beat that?

Rumple My son's mother left him at age 7. When he was about to be 14 I let immigrant to another world from wear he was kidnapped by a psychopaths or a confused young man's shadow and found by the man who his mother left him and me for. My son evenly met a girl. She gave birth to my grandson they had or have a complex relationship. After a 11 year gap of not seeing each other and saying they still love each other this woman the mother of his child might leave him for the same man my wife left me and my son for.

Vader I see that is pretty messed up. Alright ight See you in Inter-Dimension Court.

Rumple We may not need Inter-Dimensional COurt

Vader Why is that?

Rumple Because my show is on ABC and your whole Universe was purchased by Disney meaning we...

Vader Can all be fit under one banner I see. Well wherever the court is that the Law suit is brought I will see you there?

Vader Than leaves with the Imperial March being played


End file.
